Of Values

These days it seems as if respect, empathy, honesty and gratitude too often take a backseat to an everyone for himself attitude. Whether you realize it or not, you are already teaching you child values, whether you realize it or not!

No matter how hard you try to say the right thing, it's what your kids see you do that will stick with them. So it's important to take a deep breath and try to be at least semiconscious of what you are doing as much of the time as you can.

• Identify and list the values tha are important to your family. Visual, concrete models help children deal with abstract concepts, even if they can't read yet. You can also look for pictures that illustrate values.
  
  
• Explain to your children why we do what we do, including our underlying feelings and reasons.
  
  
• Catch your kids "being good" and praise with words that specifically convey your values.
  
  
• Resist the urge to nag bribe, or berate your kids in the name of teaching values... it just may backfire!
  
  
• Let your children see you take responsibility for your actions.
  
  
• Give kids simple chores to help them develop a sense of responsibility, pride, and their special role in the family. Give your child some chores relating to the entire family in order to develop compassion and feelings for others. Asking kids to pick up ther own toys will only get them tidy bedrooms.
  
  
• Demonstrate kindness by putting money in the charity, explain to your child where the money goes and how it makes you feel good inside to help others. Gradually your child will internalize the positive feelings that come from being respectful, kind, and helpful to others.
  
  
• Include children in performing arts of kindness. Young children are able to feel more compassion for someone they know, or at least can see, than for an orphan around the world.
  
  
• Recognize that young children think and reason differently from adults. Preschoolers are happy to help you shop for a present or fod for the needy. However, for most 4-year-olds, being asked to give away one of their own toys or use their own money to buy a child a gift may cause feelings of resentment.
  
  
• If relatives or friends demonstrate values different from the ones you want your children to adopt, talk in a positive way to the children about what's important to you.
  
  
• Involve your child in volunteer opportunities. Discuss how fortunate your family is, as well as your responsibility to help others in your community.
  
  
• Realize that the process of teaching values can be challenging, difficult, and often inconvenient, but it's well worth it! Kids who have strong values often also develop a high sense of self-esteem and can better resist peer pressure. Studies often show that kind, compassionate kids are not only successful but also well liked.

When you take the time to talk with your children about how the values you are modeling relate to your everyday life, they will more easily internalize them.