Time-Out!

"Time-out" is literally the pause that interrupts inappropriate behaviour. For some, it refreshes as well, giving the kids and you a chance to cool down.

Many parenting experts recommend a rigid procedure, including the use of a specific location and a set time period. Others have adopted a more flexible approach that can be used anywhere. The best way would be to tailor your time-out to what best works for your child. When your child breaks a rule, immediately and matter-of-factly stop the dangerous or inappropriate behaviour by saying, "Time-out."

Think of time-out simply as an acceptable verbalization that serves to stop the dangerous or inappropriate behaviour immediately. Some children are better able to clam down and regroup in a designated place, therefore you may want to relocate your child during time-out's. Others however, fall apart at the thought of sitting on a "time-out" chair for the purpose of calming down or of contemplating their poor behaviour.

A time-out can be brief; it's not meant to be a punishent or "doing time for the crime." Some experts recommend using one minute per year of age as a general time frame. When used sparingly only for the most serious of offenses, time-outs are very effective.

• Some teachers and parents call a time-out before the aggressive or dangerous behaviour happens. If you have a very active, distractable child, watch for the signs that the bad behaviour is brewing and call a time-out to allow the child to cool down and regroup before he gets into trouble.
  
  
• Consider giving a quick hug or a smile as a welcome back from time-out.
  
  
• Guide your preschooler away from trouble when time-out is over. After time-out, 5-year-olds often can go right back into the original situation and behave appropriately, but sometimes they need your help. Many younger kids don't do well going back tot he scene of confrontation; distraction works better for them.
  
  
• Discuss time-out together as a family; consider including when and why it will be used, where it will take place, and how long it will last. Invite your kids participation in the discussion.
  
  
• Remember that unacceptable behaviour does not change immediately.
  
  

Kids need you to help them put the brakes on bad behaviour until they learn to do it themselves; time-out is one way to immediately stop bad behaviour and help everyone regroup. The trick is not to let the time-out itself lead to a power struggle.