Kids Misbehaving? You have 3 options.

Daunted at the prospect of being an effective disciplinarian? Don't be. Your task becomes simpler when you consider taking one of the three options. Put simply, you have three options for responding when your child is naughty, inappropriate, or out of control.

Before reacting to a situation, quickly run through in your mind your three options for discipline. Ask yourself which one is appropriate given the situation at hand. Although you probably won't always get it right, you'll feel more effective when you take time to decide what to do rather than just jumping in without a plan.

1. Step in and stop the child from doing what's prohibited.
   This is the option you choose when there is no choice. In other words, this applies to any situation that involves the child's safety or the family's values.
   
   You won't even have to think about taking this option. This is a safety issue, and at the moment you have no other option. Parents provide protection until children are old enough to protect themselves.
   
   
2. Step near and guide the child to manage the situation at hand.
   In this situation you might offer the child a choice. Compromise or negotiate with her, attempt to solve the problem together,or teach a skill for better behaviour.
   
   If you child grabs a toy from another child's hand, you may choose to step into the scene, take control of the toy, and then demonstrate how to take turns and borrow objects.
   
   You're teaching skills for sharing and not grabbing. You can later monitor the child is a variety of situations to see if she's gradually catching on to what's expected. Keep in mind that children don't learn from one lesson alone. You will need to repeat lessons in numerous situations before the child consistently exhibits the appropriate or desired behaviour. This is the option take takes patience but the rewards will be satisfying.
   
   
3. Step back and watch to see if the child can manage the situation for herself.
   Believe in or not, you don't always need to interfere. Often, children can determine how to behave all on their own. Given the opportunity, children often handle situations without reminders or prompting from Mom or Dad. You are not redundant yet, but this is the option that asks you to take a backseat.

Mix and Match
Don't feel bound to stick to one of the three options above. If you always step in and stop when a child misbehaves, you prevent your child from learning how to manage situations on her own.

If you always step near the guide, you'll exhaust yourself. There are just too many disciplinary situations to attend to every single one of them. Work on one or two better behaviour skills at a time. WHen your child masters one, move on to another.

If you always step back and watch, you're being too permissive. Children need protection and guidance. If left completely to her won devices, a child may flounder and learn an unduly harsh lesson.

By exercising each of the three options, you will gradually teach your children self-discipline and self-control. Keep in mind that discipline involves guidance, teaching, and training. It's not about punishment, or about getting back at the child.

This three option approach to discipline takes a little thought, effort, and planning. It is also critical to carryout the plan consistently even if pouts, anger, or temporary unhappiness results.

How to make consequences count?

• Make sure the consequence is clearly related to the situation.
  
  
• Watch your demeanor. There's no need to be harsh and punishing; simply be firm and clear.
  
  
• Explain your reasons once; don't try to convince your child that what you have done is fair. Just explain the situation.
  
  
• Realize that any consequence you require your child to bear, you are forced to live with it too.
  
  
• Understand that a brieg reprimand from a beloved parent is often consequence enough to product the desired result.
  
  
• When consequences are effective, they are just unpleasant enough to bring about positive change.