How Can You Help Your Kids Make Friends

It is likely you hope your children develop lasting friendships. It is unlikely that you are aware that children learn about friendship from you. It's true! The children who are the most competent in social situations have parents who are nurturing. This fact doesn't mean that you are your child's best friend, but it doesn't mean that most of the time, you want to come across in a friendly manner.

Before waging a zealous friendship campaign to make sure your youngster is competent in social situations, ask yourself:

• Am I affectionate and friendly when interacting with my child?
  
  
• Do I consider my child's feelings, desires, and needs?
  
  
• Am I interested in my child's daily activities?
  
  
• Do I respect my child's point of view?
  
  
• Do I express pride in each of my child' accomplishments?
  
  
• Do I offer support and encouragement during times of stress?

If you rank high as a nurturing parent you are likely to see the same nurturing behaviour you exhibit toward your children reenacted between your children and their peers. From parent to child, these qualities equate to nurturing; from child-to-child, they are exhibited in friendly interactions.

Some children just naturally acquire many friends, others only a few; and some children buddy up with one best friend at a time. Regardless of your child's number of friends, it is important for parents to do what they can to support those friendships.

A few pointers:

• Make your home welcoming to friends.
  
  
• Encourage your child to join a group, and then support it with your time and interest.
  
  
• Do not embarrass or ridicule your child in front of peers.
  
  
• Avoid labeling your child as shy, mean, or friendless. Such labels solidify the tendency, preventing the child from changing into a friendly person.
  
  
• Don't saddle kids with too many responsibilities and schedules. Friendship takes time to develop in relaxed and somewhat unstructured situations.
  

Toddlers either play by themselves or with another child. When both children have a train engine to scoot along a track, they are enjoying a social experience; toddler style.

Most children, from time to time, face problems with peers. When this happens to your child, listen to his feelings, and when the tears subside, offer small bits of advice. This approach provides the child with the strength to face those same kids at school the next day.

Rejections from friends and rejection at home is too much for any child to bear. During troubled friendship times, your child needs acceptance and understanding; he needs you to be his friend.

When it comes to learning the hard knocks of friendship, experience is often the best teacher. If kids come up with solutions to their problems and do not depend on their parents or teachers to step in, it is usually best.

Most kids eventually learn fairness, social justice, and how to get along. The key ingredients are time and practice, along with parents and teachers standing by as ultimate protector.