One day you are likely to wake up and ask yourself, "Exactly when am I supposed to enroll my child in extracurricular activities?" and you will wonder, "How many are appropriate?" On the one hand, you won't want to let the opportunity slip by of sending your child down the path to becoming an Olympic athlete, cultivating from a young age your child's interest or innate talent. On the other hand, you don't want to unnecessarily stress your child or yourself by haling your kid to numerous scheduled activities, making everyone cranky and on the edge.
The voice of reality tells you that your children most likely will not earn their living from sports or music careers. Nevertheless, you would like to promote some lifelong interests that will provide many enjoyable hours away from the demands of academia and career.
With the right balance and the right motives, extracurricular activities can be rewarding for both you and your child. There are, however, many questions and practicalities that you need to consider.
Good Reasons, Bad Reasons.
Once your child turns two, you'll wonder if now is the time to begin music class, ballet, or gymnastics. Enrolling your child in ballet is so tempting. You just know your toddler will look darn cute in a tutu. Then when kindergarten comes, you'll most likely feel pressure from your parenting peers, who are buying soccer shoes and a piano in order for their child to join a team and begin lessons. Before you follow the crowd, ask yourself why are you doing it.
Good: SIMPLE, STRESS-FREE FUN
If going to music class or gymnastics is an enjoyable, hassle-free experience for you and your preschool child, do it. If the acitivity is a time to enjoy your child away from the demands of your home, or work life, do it. If you live in a neighbourhood isolated from families with young children, and a class could supply the opportunity for your child to interact with peers and a place for you to meet other parents, do it.
Bad: GETTING A HEAD START
If you are signing your child up for one enrichment activity after another because you believe an early start will secure a lifelong interest or give your child the competitive edge in later years, think again. If you start a child in extracurricular activities too young, before his body is developed to perform the skills required, before his mind is able to understand the strategy of the game or musical concept, before his emotions can manage the pressure of competition, and performance, or before he acquires the social skills to understand sportsmanship, and the discipline of practice, you are likely to turn himoff to the acitivity instead of providing the benefits you might wish.
Bad: PUSHING FOR A PRODIGY
Parents hear of music and sports prodigies whose parents recognized their child's innate talent and then supported the talents without hesitation. If you discover you have got a prodify on your hands, you will have some difficult decisions to make about nurturing your child's amazing innate talent. But prodigies are few and far between. Most likely your child will develop talents and interests alongside his peers in the standard development time line.
Good: POSITIVE PEER GROUPS
Keep in mind that in addition to the learning skills connected with a sport or musical instrument, extracurricular activities offer a hidden benefit: Your child is usually surrounded by a positive peer group. As children grow up, they naturally move away from your influence and attach themselves to peers. With certainty you'd rather your child's friends spring from ballet class rather than an interest in hanging out at the mall, or watching MTV.
Practical Considerations.
- What does your child like to do?
Notice your child's interests and the interests of his peers at his age. Give your child a choice of activities. After he chooses, be there to cheer him on, support his mates, notice, and talk up his best efforts. - How many activities can kids manage?
Each child is different. Some can manage 2, others more. If you have got 3 kids, who each have 2, watch it. Although your children may thrive on enrichment of the activities, you, on the other hand, may stress youtself out. You might better maintain family harmony by limiting each child to one activity. - How will you juggle everything?
If you are all going in so many different directions, what happens to family meals? When does homework get done? Do these important daily events play 2nd fiddle? Parents need to decide what they value most, and what is most important in the long-term for their children.
- Why the resistance?
Many children do not move easily from one activity to another. So when he complaints, express a little understanding. - When should you let kids quit?
This is the basic rule for your parenting thumb: If the child goes into an activity with a frown but comes out with a smile, keep going. Otherwise, it is time to call it quits, or better yet, offer that she takes a break with the option to try again when she's older.
- Don't attach love to winning or performing. Communicate to your child that while you are excited when he hits a homerun, you love him just the same no matter how he performs or if his team wins or losses.
- Don't scream at your child from the sidelines. Always keep in mind that you are a cheerleader offering thumbsups, high fives, claps, and a few whoops and hollers.
- Don't get in a confrontation with the teacher-in-charge. You serve yourself and your child best by giving him a phone call afer your emotions have died down.
- Do support the activity. If you want your child to be commited to it, you need to be commited too.
- Do withdraw if things get out of line. Some are overly harsh and demanding, if you see your child not thriving, allow your child to dro out until next year. It is your call.
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