Thr Tricky World of Kids Emotions

If you are in the middle of helping your child with homework, and your child turns on the tears, your job is to attend to the tears first before insisting your child finish his homework.

If you have told your child to put away the blocks and your child stomps about in an angry manner; you have got to focus on the emotions of the moment before requiring your child to complete the task. In parenting, children's emotional responses are a wild card, they override all else that is occurring at the moment.

When a child responds with emotion, it is critical that you convey sincere understanding. Do so by putting his emotional response into words.

This approach serves two purposes. First, that the child realizes that you understand his point of view, which communicates love and builds intimacy between you and your son. Second, he hears the words that are appropriate in such situations. Eventually, rather than wail, he will express himself civilly with words.


Your Emotions VS Their Emotions
When your child shifts into high gear with emotion, shift yourself into low gear and move toward your child. Stay by his side for 5 minutes or so.

Telling a child to stop feeling angry, sad, disappointed, or frustrated although well-intended, only exacerbates the emotions of the moment. Meeting a child's intense response with a parent's demand to stop emoting usually serves no purpose. He will only get more emotional and have a harder time learning to manage his emotions.

If possible, notice and talk about emotions when they first begin to well up. By doing so, you can sidestep an eruption, smoothing out the child's emotions before he becomes enraged or totally distraught.


Ride It Out
Resist offering an explanation, using reason, or offering a rational thought when a child is out-of-control with emotion. No one can think very well when emotional. It is best to wait until the child calms down. Then, later when the child is calm, explain the situation rationally. His ears will be open to your insights.

If you try to talk a child out of his ideas, he will only carry on further; trying to convince you his perspective is legitimate. By validating the child's opinion and emotional response, they magically disappear.

Don't worry, you won't be raising a child who wears his emotions on his sleeve. In time, your child is able to nurture himself through emotional situations. He'll know emotions surface and he will know how to manage his emotions all on his own.

Children gain this skill somewhere between 8 and 12 years of age, and then lose it again through the emotional rollercoaster ride of adolescence.