What Does a Working Divorce Look Like?

1. Adequate Communication.
   Keep each other sufficiently informed about what is going on with the children when they are in your care, and deal with any disagreements in a non-evaluative, issue-specific, and cooperative way.
   
   
   
2. Emotional Reconciliation.
   Let go of any unrequited feelings of lingering love or hard feelings from past hurts so that both partners are emotionally free to move on, joined only by the common caring they share for their children.
   
   
   
3. Social Cooperation.
   Keep parenting agreements so you both feel you can count on each other's commitment to share responsibility for the children's welfare and care, and still be flexible to make changes when needs arise.
   
   
   
4. Continual Support.
   Create consistency of significant family practices between households when a child has special need or the other parent needs to be backed up on a disciplinary decision with which you agree.
   
   
   
5. Personal Respect.
   Do not expect or demand that the ex-spouse's household be run in a precisely like fashion, with values, routines, and rules similar to yours. Unless child safety is at issue, accept diversity between the two households as reflecting honourable lifestyle differences.
   
   
   
6. Mutual Commitment.
   Subordinate any personal dislikes or disagreements between you to working together for the larger good (the welfare of the children). 

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